by Kedriaa
Disclaimer: GW characters do not belong to me. No monetary profit gained through this venture - just an ample amount of self- satisfaction and self-indulgence.
<"..."> spoken in Cantonese
The days began melting into weeks and months. Wu Fei was well on the road to recovery. At least his body was healing well; he was getting stronger and more independent. Little could be said about his heart and soul.
Life within the hospital walls fell into routine. Noin still cared for him and Duo's visits became more and more frequent. There were even times when he would spend the night, considering that there were several spare beds in Wu Fei's room. Noin didn't have a problem with that seeing how much of a balm Duo proved to be to her patient's scarred psyche. Although, Wu Fei suspected that she kept that a little secret from the other hospital staff. Zechs had not made another visit since. As much as he did not want to see Zechs, Wu Fei wanted ... needed to know more of how the war was progressing.
As soon as he found his strength again, Wu Fei had resumed training. He had never been this long out of practice since he became Master Ron's disciple. Nothing seemed to put him at ease better than his daily training sessions. He would do more if Noin and Duo hadn't watched him like a hawk. They were afraid that he would push himself too fast and too hard. That was a far cry from what he was used to when training with his sifu.
Even as his physical health improved, his emotional state remained as fragile as it was when he first awoke. His mood swings were the most obvious and frequent indication of his condition. Duo was unfortunate enough to receive the brunt of it all. Wu Fei would blow hot and cold on him, sometimes being his best friend, laughing and jesting, sometimes being harsh and curt, others he would just sit and stare into nothingness, all silent, unresponsive and gloomy. Nevertheless, Duo bore the burden with a staunch and dedicated stance. No matter how Wu Fei might lash out at him, he would take it with good humour, where appropriate, or step back to give the Chinese youth a moment's peace.
That did not go unnoticed. Wu Fei appreciated everything that Duo was doing for him from pushing him when he needed pushing to being left alone when he needed some time alone. He was convinced, more than ever, that the braided Irish was psychic. The more time he spent with Duo, the more his best friend seem to be able to read him like a book. There was no denying he felt a little ... exposed and vulnerable, but it also felt good not to have to explain to be understood.
With that feeling of comfort and security came guilt. If only he could do the same for Duo. Duo may deny it, but Wu Fei could not help but feel he wasn't contributing as much as he could to this relationship. Sometimes he felt he barely knew the boy.
Wu Fei felt even worse when he realised that he had missed the Irish's birthday. He cast his mind back to the day when he confronted his friend about it.
When Duo stepped through the doors that day he was greeted by a frown. Wu Fei didn't just look annoyed; he looked betrayed.
Duo flashed the Chinese youth the most charming smile he could muster under those stone, cold eyes and said, "What have I done to put such a petulant look on your face?"
"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"
"I did tell when my birthday is - April the first."
"True, what you failed to do was tell me that April the first was three days ago!"
"So, I forgot. What's the fuss?" Duo shrugged nonchalantly and flopped into the bed next to Wu Fei's, "Tis just another day, and besides, it ain't me real birthday."
"That's not the point!"
"What is the point, then?"
Wu Fei found himself at a loss to explain what the point was, being that he didn't really know what it was in the first place.
"See?" Duo said, seizing the opportunity to hopefully end the topic of conversation, "There is no point."
"Of course there is!" Wu Fei was not content to simply lie down and admit defeat, "It may not be the real date of your birth, but it is a day you have chosen to celebrate your life. I wanted to celebrate your life. You should have told me."
"If celebrating my life is all you wanted to do, we didnae need to wait till that day to do it. We can do that whenever we want. We can do it now."
"It's not the same!" still the Chinese boy argued.
"Fei?" Duo got up and reached for Wu Fei, cupping his hands on the Chinese boy's cheeks, "Why are you getting so wound up about a date? What is this really about?"
Lost for a moment in searching violet eyes, Wu Fei did nothing by gape at his friend. Then he pulled away from Duo's grasp and peered distantly out of the window.
"It ... It's nothing," Wu Fei stammered, "I just wanted to do something for you in return, get you something for your birthday. After all I am supposed to make it up for Chinese New Year."
"Oh, Fei!" Duo's lips curled into a warm, comforting smile, "You have done a lot for me in return. There ain't no need to get me presents or make it fancy and all. You being a friend is all the 'making up' you ever need to do. Besides, there's always next year, right? And this time I'll get you one of our calendars so you know when April first is."
"I'm sorry."
"You didnae need to be, ya plonk! You didnae know it was April." Duo took Wu Fei's hand and began tugging him gently towards the door. "C'mon, don't be letting this get you down. Tis a nice day out. Come show me all them fancy kung fu moves you have."
Wu Fei allowed himself to be led by the Irish, feeling a little better about it.
He brought his attention back to the present and realised that he had missed a couple of moves in the sequence he was practicing while thinking of the braided Irish. He chided himself for letting his concentration slip. If Master Ron were there, he would've had an earful. As the Master's principle disciple, Wu Fei should be showing a better example. Having said that, the only people watching were a few of the other patients, basking in the warm August sun and cool summer breeze, they wouldn't be any wiser if Wu Fei was doing the Flower Drum dance.
As soon as Noin allowed him to resume training, the sight of the Chinese youth in the garden practicing in the mornings and evenings became regular performances for the other patients to watch. Wu Fei was aware of scrutinising eyes but strove not to be bothered by them. After all, he was often demonstrating his skills and prowess to the younger disciples in their sifu's courtyard. He was used to being observed.
"Hello, Fei," Duo called as soon as Wu Fei ended his practice.
"Oh, hello. Been here long?" Wu Fei walked towards the boy perched on the bench.
"Not really, but long enough to draw the conclusion that I DO have competition in vying for your attention." Duo handed Wu Fei his tunic.
"What?" Wu Fei's brows furrowed as he shrugged into his top, "What are you talking about?"
"See that window up there?"
Wu Fei's eyes followed Duo's pointed finger. It was just like any other window, on the top floor of the wing at the opposite end to where Wu Fei's room was. The only indication that it was occupied was the vase of flowers on the bedside table, visible through the slightly opened curtains.
"Yes."
"Whoever is in there have watched you every time you're out here. Well, I'm guessing tis every time since I've always seen him there whenever I'm here and I'm here pretty much every time you are." Duo hopped off the bench, leaned into Wu Fei and asked with a impish glint in his eyes. "So Fei, do I have something to worry about?"
"DUO!" Wu Fei pushed him away. Startled, Wu Fei gave no more thought to his mysterious observer; if indeed, Duo was correct, "Stop doing that!"
"Why? You enjoy getting the attention as much as I enjoy giving it to you!"
"I ... ! You... ! Oooo, you are incorrigible! Go away!" Wu Fei threw his hands in the air then marched towards his room.
"Awww, Fei! You don't mean that!" Duo whined pretending to be hurt, "You can't want me to go again? One day I WILL really go, then you'll be sorry."
Wu Fei suddenly stopped and spun around, Duo almost walked into him. Wu Fei held his eyes steadily, an almost mischievous look reflecting off the onyx orbs. He leaned forward and whispered into Duo's ear, "Anyone ever tell you that you look adorable when you pout?"
Wu Fei heard Duo swallow and his lips curled into a satisfied smile. It wasn't often that the Chinese youth managed to catch the braided Irish off guard, but when he did, Wu Fei took perverse pleasure in doing so.
He said no more and continued his way back to his room, leaving Duo in stunned silence. That silence, however, did not last. It never did.
"Heavens forbid, Fei!" Duo's voice quivered, "Didnae your mam teach you not to tease a man like so?"
"You deserved that!" Wu Fei smirked and opened the door to his room.
"Have you been plotting with Zechs?" Duo asked merrily as he followed his friend into the room, closing the door behind him.
Wu Fei frowned at the mention of that name, "What has the Lieutenant have anything to do with this?"
"Hmm..." Duo chuckled, "Everything? Nothing?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Wu Fei spun to face off Duo.
"Hey! Calm down! What I meant earlier was that he's always finding ways to wind me up. Don't get all huffed up about that. He's a good guy. He saved our lives, he's put a roof over my head and he's kept you in here to keep you save. He's got everything to do with us. At the same time he does nothing in restricting our actions."
"If that is so, why am I not allowed to leave this place?"
"Fei, you ain't a prisoner," Duo said sombrely, "But where will you go?"
"To find Li and Mei for a start."
"With a war raging on the mainland? What good will that do if you get caught in a crossfire again?"
"Again?" Wu Fei snorted, "I didn't get wounded in a crossfire, Duo. They were wilfully shooting at me!"
"Nevertheless, how much do you think you can achieve in this time of chaos?"
"It is better than idling away in this place."
"You can't do it on your own."
"I still have family in Peking. They will have resources, and from what I hear, Peking still stands under Manchurian rule."
"You'd have to get there first."
"Why are so determined to keep me here as well?"
Duo did not answer immediately. He sighed, "Why are so you determined to get yourself killed?"
"I most certainly am not! I simply cannot abide by all this idleness! I have to do something. I have heeded Miss Noin's and the doctors' advise in not rushing myself out of here but it has been eight months! I have regain my independence and my wounds have all healed. Why am I still being held here?"
"You are not being held, Wu Fei. You are here because it is safe!"
"From who?"
"I don't know! The ravages of war? The others?"
"The others?" Wu Fei's eyes widened in surprise momentarily before realisation set in, "I am being held responsible for the death of those three soldiers, am I not?"
"If you mean are you to be put on trial for it? Then no," Duo explained, "But that don't mean that you didnae anger some of their friends."
"I do not need the Lieutenant to protect me."
"Are you sure?"
"No, I can never be sure. Notwithstanding, he cannot protect me forever. What am I supposed to do? Keep running and hiding?"
"Of course not!" Duo cried, exasperated, "You were hurt, Fei! How were you supposed to protect yourself? I can't do bugger all for you. The only person who could keep you safe was Zechs. Why can't you simply accept that? Why are you so determined to peg him as a bad guy? Zechs is a man of honour, he ain't going to betray you."
Wu Fei regarded the Irish's word for a moment before asking, "He means that much to you?"
"He has done a lot for me. He is a good man, do not judge him by his uniform."
"Do you trust him?"
"With my life."
Silence engulfed them when Wu Fei made no reply to that. He could not explain why he had an intrinsic mistrust of Zechs' intentions. He could not remember feeling that way when they first met. The feeling of enmity surfaced on the night his world fell apart. Perhaps Zechs became the target for his hostility simply because he was a representative of the Navy.
The Lieutenant had shown him nothing but patience and compassion, only to be met with by rebukes and animosity.
"Do you trust me, Fei?"
Wu Fei turned to gazed as questioning eyes then whispered, "Yes."
"Then believe me when I say Zechs is not your enemy."
"I believe you."
"Thank you."
Wu Fei moved towards the window and looked to the horizon. The pair remained silent for a moment, then the Chinese boy turned to regard Duo with a question, "Now I know that he has no intentions of keeping me here against my wishes, but what about you? Will YOU stop me from leaving?"
Duo looked taken aback, like he had never expected to be asked such a question. He blinked a couple of times, as if trying to grasp the meaning of the words. A look of gloom washed over amethyst orbs, "No, I will never force you to do something against your will."
"Thank you, that is good to know." Wu Fei turned back to the window.
"But I will beg, if I have to."
"What?" his head snapped around in astonishment.
"If you chose to leave now, I will beg you to stay," Duo's reply was nothing more than a whisper.
"Why?"
"Because you're my best friend and I don't want to see you hurt." Duo sighed and walked up to Wu Fei, "I just couldn't bear it or forgive meself if you got yourself hurt and I didnae do all that I could to prevent it."
Duo's eyes were weaving yet another spell to ensnare Wu Fei's mind.
"You mean to world to me, Fei."
Wu Fei could feel the warmth of Duo's breath upon his lips.
"And I would beg you to stay because I love you."
All coherent thought stopped as Wu Fei's brain ground to a screeching halt.
...love ...?
Wu Fei was then dimly aware that he was being kissed - tenderly, insistently, passionately. Moments later he became aware that he was kissing back with the same fervour.
Small bursts of white-hot fire peppered Wu Fei's skin. His vision blurred and his legs threatened to buckle beneath him. Strong lithe fingers snaked around his neck and up his back. The roar of his heartbeat drowned everything around him, save perhaps the rhythm of Duo's heart beating in unison with his.
As abrupt as his brain stopped, the dazed cogs of his mind chugged back to life causing a cascade of emotions to overwhelm Wu Fei. The strongest and the most frightening emotion was that of horror.
Wu Fei grappled for control over his limbs and pushed Duo with all his strength. Any more and Duo would've been bodily thrown across the room.
Caught off guard, Duo stumbled, lost his balance and fell backwards, sliding a few feet across the floor. He looked up at Wu Fei, eyes clouded in confusion.
"How. DARE. You?" the words dripped with indignation.
"What? Fei - "
"I trusted you! I bared my soul and confided in you. How could you take advantage of me like that? Or betray Mei's good faith in you?"
"Take advantage? Betray? I thought you - "
"I AM NOT LIKE YOU!" Wu Fei bellowed and instantly regretted those words. He hadn't meant for it to sound bigoted. He hadn't meant for it to sound like he was sickened by Duo's action or appalled by his own response to it. All he wanted to say was that he didn't love Duo the same way that Duo evidently loved him.
The betrayed expression on Duo's face and the hurt in his eyes would haunt Wu Fei for the rest of his life. A single tear rolled down Duo's cheek and Wu Fei felt the burning of that tear upon his own cheek right down into his heart.
Mutely, Duo picked himself off the floor and left without word.
"...don't go..." Wu Fei slumped against the wall and buried his head in his arms. "...Duo... what have I done?"
Wu Fei moped once again, much to Noin's exasperation. At least this time he was willing to talk and continued his daily practices. Wu Fei knew that not only had he crossed the line, he had trampled on it with his callousness and ripped it to shreds with his volatile temper.
"Wu Fei, what happened?" Noin prodded one evening nearly a week after Duo's disappearance.
"I would rather not talk about it," Wu Fei replied without looking up from the book he was reading.
"You've spent the last week not talking about it. It has not improved your dour mood neither had it brought Duo back to visit. I do not need to know what transpired between you two, I do not ask. I just wish for the best for you both."
"I appreciate your concern but you need not worry about me."
"I may not have the talent that Duo has in ascertaining what exactly you want and feel, but I am perceptive enough to know you need a friend now."
"I have you, don't I?"
"Of course you do." She paused a moment then sighed. "Lie to me if you wish but you should not deceive yourself. As much of a friend as I can be, I am not Duo. You and I do not share the rapport you have with him and you need him."
Wu Fei continued to peer into his book not looking up. However, he was no longer reading it.
"He left because I was heartless and cruel with my words. I do not know how to make amends, I do not think I can."
"How can you be so certain without trying?"
"I cannot try something I know not about."
"Speak from your heart. Let remorse and your love for him be your guide."
"Words of apologies seem so hollow and futile."
"You must try, Wu Fei," Noin said insistently yet gently, "Duo is not unreasonable. Yes, he is hurt, but keeping away from him will not rectify the matter only exacerbate it."
"I do not even know where he is."
"He is at Zechs residence."
"Zechs?"
"Yes, like you he is under Zechs' care. He has been staying with Zechs since arriving on Lintin."
"Have you seen him? Duo, I mean."
"No, I have not." She smiled coyly. "It is not appropriate for a lady to be visiting a soldier's quarters without just cause. Especially when the master of the house is absent. The only time I see Duo is when he is here."
"I see." Wu Fei nodded then fell silent for a moment. "Is there nothing you can do to help me find him?"
"You will not be permitted to roam the compound at your will, but I shall see what I can do."
"Thank you, Miss Noin."
"You are welcome." She smiled warmly at him. "Feeling better?"
"Yes, yes I am." He returned her smile.
Later that night, Zechs paid the Chinese youth a visit. Wu Fei had been expecting Noin all evening as was surprised to see Zechs instead. As far as Wu Fei knew, Zechs had been on Mainland China fighting the war. The lieutenant had a small box in his hand and looked weary.
<"Master Chang,"> he said, <"I must apologize for waking you but I have news of the war. I simply felt it could not wait till the morning.">
<"I have little stake in this war, Lieutenant. Why the urgency?"> Wu Fei rubbed sleep out of his eyes.
<"I wanted you to hear it first, from me, before the rumours and half-truths echo in these walls.">
<"Well, share your news then, if you are this eager.">
<"Do not mistake my insistence as eagerness, Master Chang."> Zechs sank into a chair. <"I do not bear good news.">
<"I have lost everything I held dear."> Wu Fei replied bitterly. <"At this time, little could shake the foundations of my existence. Please, what is it you need to tell me in the dead of the night?">
<"Your emperor has conceded defeat [1]. We have a called a ceasefire and representatives of both our empires have been meeting at Nanking to negotiate a treaty.">
<"That, Lieutenant Merquise."> Wu Fei smiled. <"Is not bad news.">
<"You are not sadden by your nation's defeat?">
<"On the contrary, I am gladden by the news that all this futile warring has come to an end, regardless of the victor. I never once believed that we stood a chance against the superior warfare technology your people possessed and was appalled by the basis of the war. But why would the Generals of the Manchu court listen to a boy of fourteen, who incidentally favours the presence of the West?"> Wu Fei shrugged. <"Perhaps I AM a traitor to my people.">
<"I see."> Zechs cannot help but smile. <"But you are not a traitor, Master Chang, but a visionary and a revolutionary. More could benefit from your philosophies of life.">
<"Do not make me sound like a hero, Lieutenant."> Wu Fei laughed. <"I have done nothing.">
<"We do not always need to act upon something to make a difference. You can always lead by example through your inaction during this war.">
<"My inaction was not by choice.">
<"I did warn you that they would shoot if you ran."> A hint of laughter edged his voice.
<"I have always been accused of being stubborn and insubordinate.">
<"They are not always bad qualities.">
<"Perhaps not."> Wu Fei looked in to Zechs eyes again and for the first time since their first meeting, he did not feel threatened by the Lieutenant. <"Thank you for making the effort to tell me personally about the outcome of this war.">
<"No thank you necessary. I shall leave you to your sleep for I am weary myself. Here."> Zechs stood up and handed the box he was holding to Wu Fei. <"This is yours.">
Wu Fei eyed it curiously.
<"It's not a gift, the contents of the box belongs to you. Duo had them with him when you both were brought here."> Zechs explained. <"I was asked to safe guard them for you.">
<"Why did you not return them earlier?">
<"Since my last visit I has been off the island and out in the front lines of the war. We also thought that you might feel better about having these later rather than earlier.">
<"Thank you."> Wu Fei took the box from Zechs and wondered what could be in that box that Duo, undoubtedly, salvaged for him from his home. He crossed his legs and rested the box between his knees. He took a moment to admire the box itself. That did not belong to him; perhaps it was the Lieutenant's. It was oblong in shape, about half a foot wide and twice as long. Polished to a deep mahogany, Wu Fei could only guess the wood it was made off. A border of ivy leaves and twine was carved around edge lending it an air of simplistic elegance.
<"You are welcomed to keep the box."> Zechs walked to the door. <"I shall take my leave now.">
<"Lieutenant!">
<"Yes?">
<"Is Duo with you at your residence?">
<"I have not yet seen him since my return but I can see no reason why he shouldn't be.">
<"If he would consent to it, would you ask him to come see me?">
<"Have you two been fighting again?">
<"No, we have not been fighting. I am entirely to blame for this ... estrangement.">
<"I see. Come to dinner tomorrow at my residence. If you, too, are relieved by the end of this war, then perhaps we should celebrate the occasion. I will send someone for you tomorrow and I will make certain that Duo will be there.">
<"You have my gratitude.">
Zechs bowed to Wu Fei and left silently.
Satisfied that he had made the first step in reconciling with Duo he turned his attention to the box on his lap.
Releasing the clasp of the box, Wu Fei lifted the lid gingerly, as if it were made of the most delicate ceramics. The contents of the box brought fresh tears to his eyes. There were only four items in there but they meant the world to him.
The first item he picked up was a lock of raven hair, bound in a thin silk ribbon of lilac. He didn't have to ask Duo to know whom it belonged to. Bringing it close, he brushed the lock over his cheek savouring the feel of soft strands. A faint smell of magnolia still emanated from it - he was unsure if it was merely a figment of his imagination or if the scent truly lingered. The pain of loss blossomed in his heart. He hugged himself close and sobbed, not bothering to stop or suppress the tears. He wanted to cry and cry he did. It felt good to let go, and it was the only way he knew how to mourn her.
Wu Fei didn't know how long he sat alone in tears but eventually they dwindled enough for him to examine the other things.
The second item was a pair of gold rings threaded by a leather thong. It was the wedding rings that Duo had given them. Mei-Ran treasured it both as a gift from Duo and as the symbol of their marriage.
The next thing he picked up was a dagger. The hilt was silver, studded with jade and amber, the sheath was leather - finely crafted and polished to a nigh black finish with a border of liquid silver. On one side a single character - "phoenix" - was emblazoned on it, on the other a piece of pale jade carved in the image of a dragon was embedded into it. It belonged to his mother and he had entrusted it to Mei-Ran to be its guardian. Mei-Ran had refused to accept it as a gift; it was all Wu Fei had of his mother. She did agree to safeguard it until someone more fitting could become its owner. Wu Fei didn't think there would be anyone more fitting than his Phoenix but did not argue with her. Mei-Ran always kept it by her side.
Last, and certainly by no means least, was his family crest. A palm-sized block of deep green jade with a dragon carved on the top and the crest of his family on the bottom. It often used as a seal and only by the head of the family. Wu Fei sighed dismally when he finally acknowledge that he would be the one who wielded it from then onwards.
The four items lay before him in a neat row. Wu Fei gazed at them with glistening eyes. They represented everything that he had held dear but had lost in the war. A war which he wanted no part of, a war which he knew was meaningless, a war which he was thrilled to have ended sooner rather than later. Nevertheless, lives lost would never be returned to their loved ones.
Springing off his bed, the Chinese youth moved to the window and perched upon it. It had become a nocturnal ritual for those nights when sleep eluded him. The view of the garden below him put him at ease.
After a whole, not contend with merely looking at the inviting gardens, Wu Fei headed down into the cool night. He felt even worse, now, about Duo. That boy has done nothing but took care of and looked out for him. And how did Wu Fei show his gratitude? By spurning him.
Another matter that weighed heavily upon his shoulder was the course of his future. With the war over, what was he going to do now? He was certain that he did not want to return to Canton. There was nothing there left for him.
He did not feel like going to Peking to be with his uncle either. Defying his father was one thing. Defying his uncle would be completely different game. Even if he had Pui San on his side, he knew that his uncle would be much harsher on him than his father had been and Wu Fei certainly had no intention of playing the obedient nephew.
Besides, he did not relish the idea of serving in the Emperor's court either. Being the heir of the Chang Clan, he would no doubt be "guided" into serving the Emperor like his forefathers had. That was the last thing he wanted to do. As it stands, he had little doubt that his uncle's family would have presumed him dead. This way, he was free of familial obligation. He wanted to remain free.
But where did that leave him? He may be well-educated and talented in the martial arts, but in this post-war era, how would those skills prove useful?
He sighed and began practicing again. Something slow, something calming. He just needed to clear his head.
As he ran through the motions of the sequence, a sudden glimmer caught his eye. Just as he turned and looked up, he saw a lone candle being blown out. Duo was right; the occupant of the room with the flowers was watching him. He wondered who it was and what his secret admirer was doing up at an hour like this watching him train. Even though the person at the window was no more than an indistinct shadow, he felt the intensity of the gaze from the silhouette. It unnerved him. Wu Fei frowned. He did not like being watched in that manner.
Moments later, the shadow moved away from the window and drew the curtains.
Wu Fei made up his mind to find out their identity, even if it meant going up to that room to meet them in person.
"What's this?" Wu Fei asked.
"Clothes."
"I can see that, Miss Noin." He sighed. "What is it for?"
"Dinner, tonight."
"I'm expected to dress up?"
"Trust me, this is not dressing up." Noin giggled. "I just thought you might want to wear something more presentable than your pyjamas and training tunics for your first dinner out of this dreary place."
"I'm not being an embarrassment, am I?" Wu Fei chuckled.
"Don't get witty with me, mister!" Noin reprimanded playfully, "Meet me by the front gates at six."
"You're going too?"
"Don't sound so surprised, imp! I am his nearest and dearest companion in this far flung barbaric nation."
"Barbaric?" Wu Fei laughed, "If you thought this place barbaric, why then, gracious lady, did you venture thus far from home?"
"That was what my father said of this place. He had no sense of adventure, no love for the unusual. Thankfully my mother did not feel the same." Noin smiled, "Besides, people do strange things for those they care for."
"Zechs is a lucky man."
"You are charming, dearest Wu Fei." Noin pecked him on the cheek. "I'll see you at six, do not be late."
"Can I ask you something before you go?"
"Of course."
"The patient in the top floor of the opposite wing to this one. Do you know who it is?"
"That is rather vague." Noin furrowed her eyebrows. "There are six rooms up there, three of which are occupied. I do not know who they are, but the rooms are only used for ranking officers. Why?"
"I was just... curious." Wu Fei shrugged nonchalantly. "Thank you, I will see you at six."
Wu Fei wandered down to the gate promptly at six. He was greeted by a lovely vision of Noin standing by an open carriage. She was dressed in a satin gown of midnight blue. A mantelet of taffeta was draped over bare shoulders and a single strand of pearls embraced her elegant neck. Her hair fell loosely over her left eye and her lips were coloured in a deep maroon hue.
This was the first time that he had seen her out of her uniform.
"You look ravishing, Miss Noin." Wu Fei bowed to her then offered her a hand up the carriage.
"And you, sir, are no vagabond either." Noin replied taking his hand.
Wu Fei was dressed in a black silk shirt and trousers. The emerald damask tunic was long and had subtle yet intricate embroidery on the high collar and cuffs. His hair was neatly swept back and he wore a brilliant smile.
"That, I have you to thank for."
"Charmer!" Noin's eyes then widened in surprise as Wu Fei settled beside him, "Wu Fei! What happened to your hair?!"
Where Wu Fei's braid usually hung, a small neat ponytail was in its place. It was tied by a matching green ribbon.
"Is it not obvious?" he raised an eyebrow, "I cut it off."
"Hmm..." Noin began scrutinising the handsome youth beside her, making Wu Fei a little self-conscious. "May I?" she asked reaching out to him.
"May you what?" Wu Fei leaned back a little from her.
"I won't bite, I promise." Noin chuckled. "I just think you look better this way," without waiting for a response, she pulled the ribbon off.
Without the confines of the ribbon, soft silky locks fell around Wu Fei's face and began billowing gently in the night sea breeze. Noin smiled satisfactorily then tucked his hair behind his ears. She handed the ribbon back to Wu Fei and sat back to scrutinise him again.
"MUCH better." She winked and instructed the driver to start their journey to Zechs' residence.
Wu Fei felt weird. He had never had his hair down around his face like that before. Then again he did not remember ever having this short. He must have been no older than four when it was at this length. The feel of his hair around his face somehow made him feel better, different. After all, THAT was the whole point of cutting it.
When they arrived at Zechs', Wu Fei was expecting a large mansion filled with ornaments of the West. Instead, it was an average-sized house of Chinese architecture and design. It was not such a surprise when Wu Fei thought about it. Zechs was a student of the Chinese culture.
"Welcome, Master Chang," Zechs greeted him. He was surprised to find Zechs dressed in a traditional Chinese suit not unlike his own. It suited him well, the midnight blue brocade brought out the brilliance of the long flaxen locks that hung down his back, "If you don't mind, I suggest we converse in English for the benefit of Noin?"
"Of course not, thank you for your invitation."
"You're welcome." Zechs then approached Noin, took her hand and kissed it. "Hello, Noin, I trust the trip here was good."
"I have no complaints."
"Shall we retire to the drawing room? Dinner should be ready soon." Zechs offered his arm to Noin and began leading his guests away from the main door.
The trio were served wine and a small selection of appetisers. Wu Fei drank the wine but ate little of the food. They were engaged in light conversation although Noin and Zechs were the ones who did the most talking. Wu Fei was too preoccupied wondering where the fourth member of their group was.
"Lieutenant?" Wu Fei began.
"Please just call me Zechs, this is a time for leisure, I would rather not be addressed by my rank by an honoured guest."
"As you wish, Zechs. I too would prefer it if you called me by my name."
"Of course, Wu Fei." Zechs flashed him one of his brilliant, bright smiles. "Is there something you wanted to ask?"
"Duo, is he here?"
"Yes he is; I had asked him to stay for dinner. Although, I have not seen him in more than an hour or so. He is undoubtedly prettying himself up in his room. I will send someone for him."
"Not necessary, I am here," a voice said from the door, "Please excuse my lateness. As Zechs' suspected my indulgence in vanity took longer that I expected."
Wu Fei looked around to see the braided Irish dressed in a fine silk shirt of cream. Fitting black trousers embraced strong, graceful legs as a red sash encircled his waist. He had his hair out of the usual confines of his braid, draped over his left shoulder and only tied loosely several inches above the ends. He wore a big cheery smile but Wu Fei could see that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
Duo sashayed into the room and sat himself down opposite Noin. He promptly picked up on the conversation topic and began chatting merrily. Wu Fei felt a lump form in his throat. He wasn't sure how he should approach Duo. He certainly didn't want to do it in front of Noin and Zechs.
Not long after Duo's arrival, dinner was announced. The quartet retreated to the dining room. Dinner went without a hitch. Cheerful conversation echoed among them, although Wu Fei rarely joined in, preferring to listen to the anecdotes the others had to share.
Apart from acknowledging him when he first joined the group, Wu Fei did not believe Duo had looked at him all night. That made him feel worse. Still he would not let his fear conquer him.
After dinner they retired once again to the drawing room. Noin knew that Wu Fei wanted time alone with Duo. She deftly led Zechs out of the room as soon as she found a good reason to without being too obvious.
Silence engulfed the boys. Thoughts and feeling of guilt ran rampant in Wu Fei's mind but he couldn't find the words to express his remorse.
It was Duo who broke the silence, "Would you like to go out to Zechs' garden? I know it's dark now but there's full moon out there and a pretty clear sky."
"Of course." Wu Fei glad to have Duo made a first move.
"This way." He rose from his seat and headed towards the garden. Wu Fei followed wordlessly.
They sat in silence again staring up at the pale face of the moon.
"I like your new hair cut." Duo smiled and said without looking at Wu Fei.
"Thank you." Wu Fei looked at him. "I like your new look too, you should wear it down more often."
"Too dangerous, chances of it getting caught in things when it is loose is just too great." Duo continued, "So why did you cut yours?"
" It is a new beginning, for me and hopefully for the Manchurian Empire. To me the braid represented an era of ignorance, blind devotion and unquestioned allegiance. Zechs called me a visionary, perhaps I am no more than a dreamer wanting the modernisation of China for it to prosper once again."
"Hope is what keeps us going."
"I guess it is."
Silence.
"Duo, I am sor--."
"I'm leaving, Fei," Duo interrupted.
"Leaving?"
"Aye, going back to England. Zechs has arranged it all for me."
"But -"
"The war is over now, trade between our nations will resume and flourish once again. I cannot expect Zechs to continuously put a roof over my head and food in my belly. I have a living to earn. I cannot so do without a ship. Once I am home I will need to find myself a new captain to serve. Zechs has been kind enough to arranged passage for me to return to England."
A sinking feeling enveloped Wu Fei, "Would you stay if I begged?"
"I... I ..." Duo turned to look closely at Wu Fei for the first time that night. "I cannot."
"Cannot or will not?"
"What difference would that make?" Duo snorted. "Like you, I want a new beginning, and that beginning is back in England. Besides, I have nothing here."
"Nothing?" Wu Fei cried, "Do I mean nothing to you?"
"You know you mean the world to me, Fei, you are the best friend I've ever had. Nevertheless, I do not belong with you."
"Do you belong with Zechs then?"
"What?" Duo laughed, "Zechs is no more than my benefactor. Besides, he is not returning to England."
"Duo, please don't go."
"I do not have a choice."
"You always have a choice."
"Don't get philosophical on me, mate." Duo got up and paced. "I ain't in the mood for it. I cannot change who or what I am and you made it clear to me that night you wanted nothing to do with that aspect of me. I may have borne your foul moods and temper with good humour and patience in the past but I have feelings too. You are not the only person who has lost everything."
"You're leaving because of that kiss?"
"My world does not revolve around you, Fei." Duo spun around a glared at the Chinese youth. "I have to make a living, you may not have understood that but I daresay you will soon grasp its meaning. China has nothing to offer me. I want to start anew."
"I'm sorry, Duo, I truly am. I had never meant for the words to sound so cruel."
"Nevertheless you said them and meant them. You are not like me. I should've been wise enough to recognise that. I broke my own rule and I suffered the consequences."
"Is there nothing I can say or do to have your forgiveness?"
"You are forgiven. I was never angry."
"Please don't lie to me."
"Lying to you will gain me nothing. You ARE forgiven as there was nothing to forgive in the first place. If anything, I believe I was wrong. I should not have been so bold as to assume that you could love me the way I love you."
"Duo..." Wu Fei stood and took a step towards the braided Irish, "You are correct in saying I do not love you in the same manner as you do me. Notwithstanding, my love for you goes beyond the boundaries of friendship, perhaps as a kindred spirit or as a brother. You have shown me infinite patience and boundless affection. Yet I have given you little in return. I know not how to repay this debt."
"There is no debt." Duo looked closely into his eyes. "It is an honour to be your friend."
"You said if I needed you, you'll be here for me," Wu Fei whispered, "Please don't leave me..."
"I have been. I have been here for the past eight months when you truly needed me. But now I have to go, Fei," Duo replied just as soft, "I have to, this is my chance for a better life. I cannot give it up, not unless you can offer me the same thing or something better?"
"I..." Wu Fei dropped his gaze and turned from Duo. "I have nothing left to offer anyone."
The Irish reached out to Wu Fei and gently spun him around to face him. Duo gently caressed the Chinese's cheek; his own eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"On the contrary," Duo murmured, "You have A LOT to offer, but I am not the one who is blessed enough to receive your gifts. This dinnae have t'be the end."
"It feels like it." Wu Fei twisted out of Duo's hold. "You are all that I have left."
"You should not pin that much hope on a lowly street rat. We ain't the most trustworthy of people."
"Duo..."
"You must like the sound of my name." Duo attempted to put some levity on the situation. "You've said a lot of it tonight."
"You can never resist can you?"
"Laughter is the best medicine, you should try it sometimes."
"Perhaps someday I will find reason to again."
"It is late, I should go to bed, my ship leaves tomorrow morning."
"TOMORROW?"
"Aye, tomorrow."
"Would you even have told me if I weren't here for dinner?" Wu Fei raised his voice without meaning to.
"Probably not."
"How could you just leave without word?"
"I do not like long, sentimental farewells." Duo shrugged. "I didnae think you wanted to see me anyway."
"I was in fear, I panicked and acted rashly. I never meant to hurt you. I came here to apologize, I want to make amends," Wu Fei cried, "But you were willing to leave without resolving this?"
"To put it simply - aye."
Wu Fei sighed; he did not feel the need to further confront Duo. Little good would come from that for he himself was fraught with guilt. In addition, he didn't want any more conflict to taint their last evening together.
"I see..." Wu Fei nodded. "I know you wish to retire for the night, but would you to accompany me back to my room at the hospital? There is something I would like you to have."
"You bought me a gift?"
"It was not bought. Will you accompany me?"
"Certainly."
The boys rode in silence upon borrowed steed back to the hospital. Wu Fei was determined not to let his own fear and anger cloud his mind. He could not deny Duo's his chance in life. He HAD nothing to offer the young Irish - companionship alone cannot sustain life.
He was going to miss him. Wu Fei knew that now he was truly alone.
While Duo lit the candles in his room, Wu Fei retrieved the box where he kept his most treasured possessions. He lifted the lid and took the dagger out then handed it to Duo.
"I want you to have this."
"What? No, I can't have this. This belonged to Mei."
"Actually she was only its guardian - like you she refused to accept it for it belonged to my mother."
"Whoa, then I'm definitely not accepting it." He pushed the blade back into Wu Fei's hand.
"I want you to have it," the Chinese youth insisted, "Think of it as a belated birthday gift?"
"But Fei ... "
"Safe guard it then, like Mei did." Wu Fei unfurled Duo's finger and placed the dagger into his palm. "I cannot think of anyone else more worthy to care for it. Perhaps this would give me an excuse to seek you out someday, so that I may check that it is being taken care of?"
"Okay, I'll guard it for you like Mei did." Duo clasped it. "Only if I can have one more thing off you?"
"Name it."
Duo unsheathed the dagger and reached for Wu Fei's hair. Twirling a lock around his finger, he brought the blade as close to the root as possible and sliced it off.
"A keepsake of you." Duo said and pocketed the lock.
Wu Fei then mirrored Duo's action and took a lock of chestnut hair too. He returned the dagger to Duo then cupped his hands on Duo's cheeks. Gently, he drew him closer and pressed his lips gingerly upon Duo's. Duo gladly leaned into the kiss. There, they stayed motionless, savouring the feel of each other's touch, perhaps for the last time. The kiss they shared came not from carnal desires but from deep within their souls; souls that have bonded and entwined to forge a rapport greater than either boys could have imagined.
Duo pulled away after a while and smiled wistfully. He ran his fingers through the lustrous, black mane and stepped away from Wu Fei. <"Good luck, Chang Wu Fei, may the fortune of the gods be upon you. Farewell.">
"Goodbye, Duo."
[1] The Opium War lasted four long years in reality, but this is fiction so I'm cutting it short, I'm no good at writing wars and poor Wu Fei must be going out of his mind in that hospital.