Season One


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EPISODE GUIDE

Dark Knight: The first chapter

Dark Knight: The second chapter

For I have Sinned

Last Act

Dance by the Light of the Moon

Dying to Know You

False Witness

Cherry Blossoms



Dark Knight: The first chapter

Smelly (145 kb)
"How long has Schanke been here? (Nick)
"I'd say about 10 minutes.  How did you know?" (Patrick)
"I can smell his cologne" (Nick) ... Nick doesn't seem happy to smell Schanke.

Hairs (49.2 kb)
"Your experience tells you we should be looking at nasal hairs?" (Nick) ... Nick questions Schankes experience.

Witches brew (150 kb)
"here, drink this." (Natalie)
"What is it?" (Nick)
"Grasshopper buns, eye of newt, what the hell do you care?  Drink it." (Natalie) ... Natalie brews a 'magic' potion for Nick.

Theatrical production (152 kb)
"Have you ever noticed how you can take a simple little thing like oh say ... drinking tea, and turn it into this gigantic theatrical production?" (Natalie) ... Natalie's wounded that Nick doesn't like 'magic potions'.

Shoot me (175 kb)
"Well howdy ... partner" (Schanke)
"Will somebody shoot me ... Please!" (Nick) ... Nick isn't happy with his new partner.

Relief (295 kb)
"By the way, these tassets don't fit the breast plate, the guy couldn't relieve himself" (Nick)
"I'll tell the curator." (Alise Hunter)
"Don't bother, no one can tell the difference." (Nick)
"You can" (Alise Hunter)
"It happens to you once, you don't forget." (Nick) ... Even after 800 years???

Roughage (205 kb)
"You know, you create a lot of tension when you disapear like this, Stonetree starts eating kleenex. Have you seen him do that?  I think he does it for the roughage." (Natalie) ... Natalie discusses Capt. Stonetrees somewhat bizarre dietary habits.

Screw the sun (51 kb)
"Screw the sunrise, give me the bottle" (Nick) ... Nick backslides.

Betty Ford (114 kb)
"I am what I am, and i don't think Betty Ford takes vampires" (Nick) ... Although it would be interesting if they did.

Baseball (130 kb)
"I hate baseball, and slow games make eternity seem so much longer" (Jeanette) ... Apparently Jeanette is not much of a sports fan.

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Dark Knight: The second chapter

Cheap Rent (79 kb)
"It's a little cramped, but you can't beat the rent" (Nick) ... Nick to a startled woman who witnesses him exiting the Caddy in an unorthodox manner.

Nothing (30 kb)
"Nothing, Nada, Niente" (Schanke) ... Schanke's making excuses to Nick.

Damn you (108 kb)
"Damn you, burn in hell. Viol Diablo" (Nick) ... Nick's not happy with LaCroix.

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For I have Sinned

Please note that the "For I have Sinned" sounds are in .zip format not .wav So to listen to these sounds you will need to download them and unzip them. If you have any problems, please e-mail me.

Floss (52.4 kb)
"Word to the wise. Immortality's no excuse not to floss" (Nick) ... Nick gives advice on dental Hygiene.

Faith (52.3 kb)
"How can you be so sure that your God will be waiting for you ont he other side?" (Nick)
"Faith, pure, simple faith" (Joan of Arc) ... Joan of Arc gives Nick a lesson on faith.

Italian sayings (86 kb)
"There's an old Italian saying Schanke. When a man sends his wife flowers for no reason, there's usually a reason. (Nick) ... Nick gives Schanke some marital advice.

Hail Mary (122 kb)
"Number one, I thought I told you to stay away from there. Number two, you're supposed to cover this place from the outside." (Nick)
"You son of a ..." (Schanke)
"Twenty Hail Mary's, promise you'll never go in there again." (Nick) ... Nick gives Schanke some penance for going to the Raven.

Help (33.4 kb)
"The Lord helps those, etcetera etcetera." (Nick) ... Nick justifies his use of the confessional to Father Rochefort.

Faith & Adrenaline (65 kb)
"A little bit of adrenaline, and a lot of faith." (Nick) ... Nick explains how he made his 'leap' of faith.

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Last Act

Constipated (60 kb)
"You constipated, or something?" (Capt. Stonetree) ... Capt. Stonetree enquires after Nicks health.

Klews (35 kb)
"I'm just staring at a pile of klews" (Nick) ... Nicks unique pronounciation.

Old Friend (188 kb)
"I lost an old friend the other day." (Nick)
"How old?" (Natalie)
"Oh, two, three hundred years." (Nick)
"Old friend takes on a whole new meaning with you" (Natalie) ... Natalie is reminded of Nicks...er...difference.

Middle Ages (560 kb)
"What did I miss?" (Schanke)
"Only the middle ages." (Natalie)
"Damn, were they funny?" (Schanke)
"I enjoyed them." (Nick) ... Nick and Nat enjoy a little joke behind Schankes back.

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Dance by the Light of the Moon


Coming Soon....Watch this space


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Dying to Know You

Booga Booga (64.6 kb)
"Don't worry sir, we'll find your family, without the booga booga stuff." (Schanke) ... Schanke displays his usual tact.

Likes You (35.2 kb)
"I think she likes you." (Schanke/Nick) ... Schanke and Nick have been spending way too much time together.

She Knows (32.3 kb)
"She knows about you Nick." (Natalie) ... Nat gives Nick a warning.

God's Creatures (263 kb)
"For Gods sake, what are you? You must tell me Nicolas" (Matthew)
"I'm just one of Gods' creatures, like you." (Nick) ... Nick gives a creative explanation of what he is.

Demonic possession (134 kb)
"This is the 20th Century, we don't believe in demonic possession anymore." (Natalie)
"Just like we don't believe in vampires?" (Nick) ... Nick raises a vaild point about beliefs.

One of a kind (265 kb)
"Tell her the truth Nick, I know what you are and it hasn't made me crazy." (Natalie)
"Maybe you're one of a kind Nat." (Nick)
"That's what I've been trying to tell you for ages." (Natalie)
"Of course you might be the craziest of them all." (Nick) ... Nick questions Natalies sanity.

Vampire (80.4 kb)
"You're a vampire?" (Denise) ... Denise states the obvious.

Bowling? (184 kb)
"Your wife was out tonight wasn't she?" (Denise)
"Yeah she was bowling." (Schanke)
"Yeah that's right ... Bowling." (Denise) ... Denise sows the seeds of doubt for Schanke.

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False Witness

Manhatten (143 kb)
"Don't buy this stuff retail.   Get it from me Nick, I'll give you a great discount, O.K" (Schanke)
"Oh sure, how do you think the Dutch got Manhatten?" (Nick) ... Nick's not sure he trusts Schanke to sell him sunscreen.

Rubber (111 kb)
"What do you think?" (Mistress Tamara)
"I think I'm glad that the only time my wife wears rubber is when she's washing the dishes" (Schanke) ... Schanke proves that his taste in fashion isn't completely beyond redemption.

Coffee (52.2 kb)
"If I have any more coffee, I'll be able to fly home" (Schanke) ... Schanke brings new meaning to the phrase "cafffiene high".

Slouvaki (41.4 kb)
"You OD on a six foot slouvaki or something?" (Nick) ... Nick comments on Schankes strange behaviour.

Merciful (72.1 kb)
"But I'll give the short version cause we're partners." (Schanke)
"Who says you're not merciful" (Nick) ... Schanke shows Nick a little mercy.

Energy (59.2 kb)
"If I could tap in on your nervous energy you could light up a whole city." (Nick) ... Nick suggest a new power source for Toronto.

Right and Wrong (60.3 kb)
"Nat I've been around for 800 years, I know what's wrong and what's right." (Nick) ... Nick plays the 'I'm older and wiser than you' card again.

40 Ft Gorilla (360 kb)
"How can you laugh about that?" (Natalie)
"Oh I'm not, I'm laughing at you" (Nick)
"What do you mean?" (Natalie)
"Well how can you cry about that huh? It's not even about people," (Nick)
"Oh it was so sad." (Natalie)
"It's about a 40 foot gorilla." (Nick)
"Alright, thats it, I take back everything I ever said about you having a chance at being human." (Natalie) ... Natalie thinks that Nick should be more sensitive to King Kong's plight.

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Cherry Blossoms

Life's a bitch (107 kb)
"Life's a bitch." (Natalie)
"And then you die." (Schanke) ... Natalie and Schanke discuss the meaning of life.

Way to go Schanke (26.9 kb)
"Way to go Schanke, give em hell." (Nick) ... Is it me, or does Nick sound like he's on speed when he say's this?

Weakness (113 kb)
"I'd rather you didn't pull the gun on me again, call it a weakness" (Nick) ... Nick reveals a suprising gun phobia!!

Law of averages (161 kb)
"You know, it's funny how you've taken my theory and decided to call it your own." (Schanke)
"Hey law of averages Schank, I mean every once in a while, even you've got to be right." (Nick) ... Nick mocks Schanke

Nice change (163 kb)
"Nick, I don't know if I've ever told you before, but most of my patients over the last few years have all been dead." (Natalie)
"Well this will be a nice change then." (Nick) ... Anyone else get the impression that Nick is kind of missing the point?

Forever Friends (159 kb)
"Why won't you understand, our friendship is over." (Nick)
"No, it's forever." (Lacroix) ... Obsessive? LaCroix? Nah not a bit.

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