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Broken Rating

There comes a time in most epic rides when you have to convey to your riding partners just how totally broken you're feeling. 

Unfortunately, at the exact time you should be saying "I'm about to bring up my breakfast all over my top tube and go into shock" all you can generally manage is "Urgh" which can be misinterpreted by some freaks as meaning "Gosh riding up this 500 metre climb in the baking hot sun is fun, why don't we all shift into big chainring and sprint to the top."

At Vorb we are into social riding, which means plenty of rest stops and no shame if you want to walk a hill. To help convey just how broken we're feeling to each other we've come up with this handy system. Too broken to tell your friends you're shattered? Just mumble "Ten" and pitch forward onto the gravel - they'll get the drift.

 


Juan gives a fine example of an 8

Broken Rating Chart

1

 You Are Immortal

2

 Riding like a Guru

3

 Just Cruising along

4

 Feeling Okay

5

 Suspicion that your energy levels are getting low

6

 Struggling up hills, sweating freely

7

 Rapidly aging 20 years, gasping like an obscene photo call

8

 Staring with blurred eyes at your handlebars, can't talk

9

 All strength leaves your legs, weak as a kitten

10

 Lying on the ground coughing up internal organs

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