The giraffe greets with a smile and a nod.

So you've stumbled reeling from the reeking bowels of the Internet onto my site, eh? Good for you. You'll be wondering what all the options over on the left there are, won't you?

The giraffe blogs Like the old column, only more bloggy (i.e. I put much less effort into it). No longer updated here -- I'm now doing it properly here and here.

The giraffe writes Discontinued column of whatever shite's going through my head at the time I sit down in front of the keyboard. Contains the occasional rude word - sometimes even ruder than "bottom". You are warned.

The giraffe diversifies Other stuff I've done in the past and stuff I continue to do at my whim. Clever and shiny stuff. Out-of-date crap, too. See if you can tell which is which. UPDATE: my latest project has its own site. Go. I said go!

The giraffe manifests About the creator of this site, and why the hell he sticks giraffes all over the place. Vanity, pure and simple.

The giraffe associates Links to places that aren't here. Go there, but not until after you've been here.

The giraffe listens Contact details for thems that wants 'em.

The giraffe updates What's new. And, paradoxically, what's old also.

The giraffe watches you. It knows.