Even on the 'net, and after all this time, I've found that I can let myself be so shockingly taken out of the context I've intended with what I have said, that it takes me a lot to recover. I think I have to realise that although some tendancies of mine may have been reduced as I've teased these out for myself over the years, these can still reactivate in situations I just don't feel comfortable about, and then I let myself down. The last experience of this should well-and-truly teach me to shut up for the next decade and beyond.

Messages can get taken as very rude, hurtful and disrespectful. It's even as if I've such intent towards those known as being very important to me. This is before I get a chance to explain that where I'm coming from is never as bad as how some initial reactions to what I've apparently said, indicate in return. I do my best restoring any balance I've had a hand in upsetting, but mostly I'm on my own by then, and everyone else has understandably buggered off!

When people remain long enough, I hope they find that within the given context I assume to express myself in at the time, that I don't assert that any of the mere judgments I make are the entirety of any matter. With others I'm more used to, it seems bizarre that I have come to feel the need for such a disclaimer. Those accustomed to the same approaches as I, recognize how I go about things in appreciation of many, and of the life we share, however different that life can be at times.

Feel free to email me using - kay.neich@clear.net.nz

Friends and family maybe the only ones mad enough to click either photo on this page for more of our trip. There's a selection of our photos of this gorilla at London Zoo using a stick that I watched him(?) strip and break down to size before and after he marched across this enclosure to insert into predrilled holes of the log. Thus, the contents supplied in the log was obtained and eaten. It was very similar to the behaviour known in wild chimps. I came home eager to read up on it in captive gorillas.

My trip was fuelled on a fresh diet from reading up on biographical aspects of how Huxley upheld Darwin and others against Owen, how finally Mantell got some credit, how the functionalism of Cuvier differs from that of today, and how Geoffroy St Hillaire insisted on species transformation all along... I went on a binge of natural history museums, and visited a few other major general museums as well...

The essence of the old pretext page is still a pretty contrived mess, but was broken up and the bulk of it was modified from 2007, largely through to early 2009. I guess in that writing, there's an overriding theme of being among people who genuinely feel concern for my having very different views to the outlooks that are more familiar to them. The pieces thus indexed below were selected before our trip to Paris, Basel and London. The trip allowed me to press a hell of a lot of reset buttons.

(One of the following pages has been slightly re-edited again up to May 2010 in failed attempts to alleviate the cringe factor. I keep trying to tell myself that there is a certain humanity left in with the cringe that remains on all these pages...) Parent Directory 26-Jan-2009 14:08 -

1.adjustingflow.html 28-Jan-2009 9:48 19k

A transient, but necessary, phase. It provided me with a platform to move on from so much cultural ideology. Through writing, I've found better conceptual tools, but many won't be able to tell. I'm hoping that my own wariness of the spoilt brat in me keeps me honest. Readers may be more patient if they realise I dread speils from people akin to social workers on the "importance of knowing where I come from", when I just need someone organized to do things like prepare, and maybe feed, me a meal of lamb chops or chicken, say... When I consider persons I've associated in my mind with much pain stemming from when we personally knew each other, and fear I may have to make them officially part of future processes as part of my independent living, I do ask for a lot of understanding. I felt the need to mention what these difficulties are for me in writing, but these aren't intended to diminish how others interpret what they've experienced with me

2.cripaffect.html 01-Feb-2009 22:34 45k
(more tidied through to 5-Feb-2009 and once more in late July re public campaigns, poor mutual empathy, just a glancing blow to the "medicalization" non-issue. Finally, this was the page that was tweaked in May 2010 out of embarrassment with it's poor readability, and I still wish it could flow a lot better)

I mention some consequences of crip dogma with specific reference to aspects of sexuality, but broader in actuality. Apologies to those who gave up on earlier versions, and I really wish they could see how I think it is coming together more now. The nature of the material would have people pretty worried about me if I kept asking them to return to read the drafts I think I have gradually improved upon! Both sections of the page seem to get somewhere now. For me, it still takes awhile after reading to digest. My confidence in the piece has always wavered

3.without.html 26-Jan-2009 14:08 6k
(this is an aggregate of very old pieces that a part of me just wants left in the background)

If people just respected my atheism... I certainly don't feel a need to deny that an understanding of the quality of compassion has been filtered down to me as part of being heavily influenced by Judeo-Christian elements prevalent in my society, but I hope I've gone on from that, as others also have from all sorts of various ways and traditions with which the world has been understood


The Earth was small, light blue, and so touchingly alone, our home that must be defended like a holy relic.

- Aleksei Leonov (Cosmonaut)





::::: 4.If it was just insults and namecalling I was whinging about, I wouldn't blame people for not listening :::::
5.Regressive sham independence | 6.Platitudes? social construction introduces more scientific rigour, not less