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The Formative years. 1993
The bilevels were formed in Bernard Downeys class . The games were a
Baptism of fire for the inexperienced 15 year olds making their debuts against the local skinheads and bikie gangs.
There was a certin sense of niavity that encompassed the bilevels, the young bilevels congrugated in the industrial heartland of Nelson, playing the local factory workers. The bilevels had no equipment and had to make do with what they could find, bats were made from crates, and one bilevel a Mr Gabriel Kiddle fashioned a bat from some twigs. He called the crude mechanism "The Two handed bat".

At the centre there was an advertising hoarding that proclaimed that "V.B makes better cricketers", so a tradidtion was formed that before the start of play, the team would partake in the sharing of the beverage.
This tradation however did not last.

The bilevels in these early years had the services of a Ned Flanders, alyhough he soon got disilussioned with the bilevels pagen attitude where we would sacrifice a goat before the start of play and so formed a new team called jesus loves everyone, unfortunatly they were high on god , low on coordination.

Another Bilevel of the time was Tim Lewellyn, he was a sharp close in fielder. In one game an ondrive got hit with force straight into his testicles, Tim bent forward clutching his testicles, he then keeled over side ways. Everyone thought he was dead. But he wasnt.

The Victoria House reformation. 1997
The Bilevels moved to Wellington and soon established the cult following and fever among the oppisite sex.
The team was introduced to the services of a Mr George Crass, Bad Boy also made his debut this year and he was available to play when he wasnt using his contreversial methods of spading. (he will probably be angry when he reads this and threaten to punch my lights out).
The Bilevels at times suffered low player numbers and had to resort to the services of Steve Strange, Tom and The Tough guy's room mate , sadly we had to ask tough guys room mate not to play again as he was menatlly retarded and nearly killed the whole team driving to the indoor centre. There was this other guy who played , i forgot his name but he looked like a peodphile.

The Clifton Tce School 1998-1999
Conflicts within the Bilevels continued to destabilise the harmony within the team. Sledging at practices resulted in violence and physical brutality amongst team members.
Punching people in the head was not encouraged, so a penalty was established where the brutaliser was made to walk or cycle to the big games.

Living in Clifton Tce was fraught with confusion, as the team would always see george going inside, members of the team would cry out to george to come join us, but he would ignore the pleas. Later we found out that he was living downstairs and ignoring us cause he had found new friends in Meatloaf and Peter Ellis.

Days of Glory.2000
The bilevels living apart and a stable team contributed to the bilevels greatest team winning the division. Sadly the team would lose a few key players and their ability to bowl straight and keep the ball down.

The Fall. 2001
Every history has a period of decline, the roman empire had the dark ages, Star wars has the latest Lucas directed films and the bilevels have a string of succesive defeats.
These years coincided with half the team living in Zohrab street. Frustration at the continuing losses were taken out on the stats, with threats of violence being carried out against fellow members.

Rebirth 2002 - 2003
This year marked the debut of one of the bilevels more placid players, Mr Lee Samson aka "dont make me angry". In one game against a team called Team Alona , a player on the oppisite team was giving Lee some advice, this made lee angry so lee left the playing area and went to confront hte guy and told him to fuck up or take me (lee) on. The guy made some impish face and stopped talking. The game progressed. In the final partnership, the two batters were running when a Mr Chris Rigg accidently elbowed a midget in the head. The midget got up off the ground and thought about having a fight and then thought better. As soon as this ended Lee then bolted after the guy who he had an earlier altercation with in an effort to resolve their indifferences. Unfortunatly the guy did not partake in lees invitation at physical resolution.

This was the first bilevels game to be called off. These guys have there own website at




Hamner springs 2000
the serenity is shattered by contrversy.
This is actually an uncommon sight as the two players have a disagreement over riggs choice of shoes.
The bilevels maintain a high level of honesty and are some of the most moral people in the world, surpassing the rulers of iran.
This shot also shows an alternative who streaked onto the field propagating no violence.
The Bilevels encourage all, even people with tartan pants and long haired wack stars .
Photo taken at Bilevel headquarters, Clifton Tce, Wellington New Zealand celebrating another victory.