McGSP 1999 Manifesto Contents

Gently Brainwashing the population

The pestering possibility that the blissfully naive population could get seduced by the decadent ways of the outside world prompted The McGillicuddy Serious Party to promise the establishment of the Department of Ignorance. It will ensure that the outside world cannot intervene to prevent our Glorious Great Leap Backwards.

Ignorance is Bliss

The Department will use unemployed teachers, not as disseminators of information, but rather as destroyers of information. Their job will be the ongoing elimination of all nonapproved, nasty modern items that might upset the happily ignorant masses.

The intrusion of incomprehensibly modern things from the outside world must be kept to a minimum as we strive for a culturally rich, static and enjoyable pre-industrial society (see TRIBALISM). If, for example, a bit of space junk came plummeting out of the sky and landed in the middle of National Park, a Security of Ignorance Service (SIS) team would have to nip out there pretty smartly and destroy it before anybody got upset. The SIS will have members in every Clan and, initially, will not be unlike a shy, plain-clothed Fire Service. But as the generations pass and the agents themselves have less and less idea why it is that they have to do these things, it will become more like some weird secret society, such as the Freemasons or Ministry of Works.

External Ignorance

The other key Organisation in the Department will be the External Ignorance Bureau (EIB) which will be charged with the crucial task of protecting the country from invasion (both military and touristy). Currently most people in the world don’t really know where New Zealand is. EIB staff will encourage this happy situation, by putting about the rumour and producing “scientific evidence” that New Zealand never existed, and distributing maps that “accidentally” leave New Zealand off the bottom right hand corner. No one will even visit, let alone invade. It worked for Atlantis, it can work for us too. (see DEFENCE)